Video Killed Today's Blogpost

All the single ladies, all the single ladies – Put your hands up.  Now put them back down and resume reading.

I’m in a wee state of bewilderment; so don’t mind me as I toss some questions into the blogosphere.  Like: what’s the deal with dating these days and how does it even work?  Do people still go out on proper dates?  Don’t men still make the first move? Is anyone listening to me?

At first I thought: Hey now, here I am! Fresh out of the oven (the relationship kind) ready to try this out.  And now I’m getting stale on the day-old rack.  I had a comically awkward situation just the other day at my work: a Sweet-Tall-And-Handsome man and I commenced flirtations – starting first with salutations, a genuine, mutual interest, then fizzling out into awkward fumbling and a pathetic and confusing goodbye. Niiiiiiiice!

In this giant big fish bowl that is life, the Sweet-Tall-And-Handsome variety don’t seem to go much out of their way to make themselves apparent, allowing ample room and opportunity for the not quite as pleasant Pushy-Moderately-Creepy species. B-b-b-but why?   

It shouldn’t take a snifter of liquid courage to woo for affection so why the fear of rejection (rhyming: not on purpose); just make a bloody move! Girls still like it, don’t you know! (Note: To the ladies who prefer to make the first move, I solemnly commend you)  

Call me what you will (No, don’t), namely old fashioned but remember the good old days when all it took was someone to ask you to dance the Virginia Reel?  No I can’t say I remember either as that may have been over 200 years ago.  

"I'm having such a splendid time!"

But what about those timeless romances of the 1950s we hear about – where He swept Her off Her feet over some superfluous dialogue, sharing one Cola with two straws (Sigh.)  Where neither parties were sauced (the majority of the time.)

Observe Brad and Brenda in their typical club-type atmosphere (which strangely resembles a kitchen.) Let us not wander down that dreary road.

Then again, I could just be a silly romantic whose expectations are rather absurd. Maybe I’m asking a bit too much of Jon Hamm to pick me up in a limousine and fly me to the moon in his rocket car (I have yet to put my finger on why.) 

However, ladies and gentlemen, being single has its perks. 

It’s like swimming in the fish bowl with water wings; nobody can make you sink (except maybe Kevin Costner as “The Mariner” in Water World). And for that, I certainly enjoy it.

Och, well.  Single or no, we’ve got to look our damned finest on a daily basis (it's the law.) So you’ll be pleased as punch that I’ve cut down on the nattering on this special occasion to debut GermanCake’s Short-Film A La Makeup-Tutorial (Note to self: Enrol in French Lessons.) 

The first video blog to go up on GermanCake (Oh my goodness!)

This fast-paced, quickie tutorial is a nutshell (oh Synonyms) of how I do my Daily Make-Up Routine: a fine, simple, natural look that features a rosy-bronzed glow with a demure cat eye. Now how do you like that? As with everything Mary, the tutorial is dramatic, bursting at the seems with makeup, dancing, funny concentration faces and a Monty cameo.  Oh you'd best be pleased.  

The Look:

                                       

                                        That's a nice facial expression, Mary

Eeeeek! Here it goes!

Note: I’m not a professional, I just have fun in front of my vanity and hope you will too. 

What I used:

Face:

Note: I don’t wear foundation, so if you do, just put it on before concealer. 

Concealer: Estee Lauder Double-Wear Light 01

Bronzer: Josie Maran Argan Brightening Bronzer Sun Spot Corrector

Blush: Guerlain Terracota Blondes 02

Illuminator: Josie Maran Argan Illuminizingr Powder

Eyes:

Primer: Urban Decay Primer Potion

Eyeshadow: Mac Gesso (Base), MacWedge (Crease), Mac Phloof (Inner rims, Brow Highlight)

Mascara: Josie Maran GOGO Instant Natural Volume Argan Mascara & Helena Rubinstein Lash Queen

Eyeliner: Clarins Instant Liner, Mac Deep Truth (on top)

Note: I love to mix my black liner with dark blue – Brightening the eyes whilst creating drama 

Lips:

Lipstick: Estee Lauder Double Wear Lipstick Stay Mauve

Lipgloss: Korres Crocus Lip Butter

Oh I hope you enjoyed it!  Don't forget to comment and subscribe! DON'T!

Plenty of kisses,

Mary

P.S Next time on GermanCake: My gigantic collection of lipstick and why it's bueno 

Bitte Schön!

Look at you working so hard, you all deserve a treat! 

You don't have a baking outfit?

But before that, let’s get real for uno memento.  Just one.  Because  I’d like to discuss a serious topic, lingering throughout the lives of ordinary people today: Confectionary Kryptonite – the sweet, guilty pleasure that is your sole weakness (besides this, you are flawless.)  Mine is a ridiculously silly addiction: Candy.

What makes bon-bons so difficult to resist is that they come in all sizes, shapes, flavors (gotta love them sour ones) and are cleverly, colourfully packaged in a manner that is most certainly targeting audiences of children between 3 – 9 years old.  Mary, you’re an adult -- stop eating things that come wrapped in Zoo-Animal packaging and claim to be “Bursting with sourifficness”.

It’s bound to be that pudgy inner child who once liked to save up her weekly allowance only to blow it at the candy shop.  One time that little girl (moi) spent $5 on a bag of 5-cent sweeties and discovered, needless to say, that one would feel less nauseous drinking puddle water blended with cider vinegar. Fortunately, I’ve now been without the stuff for over a month.  Withdrawal shakes come and go as I pass the candy aisle in the super market, but a formidable constitution is far more pleasing. 

Thus if you have just consumed an entire plate of cheesecake prior to reading the end of this sentence – it may be the right time for a diet switcheroo. 

Oh no, PLEASE don’t cry! Because today, pour vous, I have divulged a super healthy and delicious recipe that will satisfy cravings, promote digestion and encourage healthy skin!  How? By making sure that each ingredient contains skin-friendly nourishment that will get y’all kissing my [shamefully unpolished] toes once you’ve tasted a nibble!

Let’s get right into it. 

Fresh Face & Body Cake

(Why it’s good!)

Ingredients

½ C Unsweetened Applesauce

(Apples contain vitamins A, C & E; vital for healing, revitalizing and replenishing)

¼ C Cane Sugar  

(Use this as a scrub for dry lips! Or in a recipe…)

½ C Chopped Oatmeal

(Great source of fibre & protein when eaten and makes for an ah-mazingly moisturizing mask or scrub!)

½ C Whole Wheat Flour

(Whole wheat flour is beneficial for overall health.)

1 TSP Baking Soda

(A little harsh for skin but try this in your shampoo - your hair will be soooo soft!)

1 TSP Cinnamon

(Great for regulating blood-sugar levels)

½ TSP Nutmeg

(Helps with digestion and topical blemishes.  However, use it in moderation, this stuff can make you go batty)

¼ TSP Sea Salt

(An awesome scrub for acne and blemishes.  Keep in mind; healthy bodies should eat a low-sodium diet.)

1 TSP Vanilla

(Just tasty)

¼ C Chopped Walnuts

(Doses of Biotin & Copper -- Skin & Hair’s BFF)  

½ C Chopped Dates

(High in iron and great for digestion.)

2 TBLS Sliced Coconut Shavings

¼ C Coconut Milk

Note: This is meant to be a smaller portion – to make more, double the recipe! 
Sugar Fiends: This might not be sweet enough for you, add more sugar, agave syrup or sweetener as you please.

In a large bowl, mix applesauce and sugar together. 

Grind oats in food processor, chopper or whatever is in the vicinity of those darling, little hands of yours. 

        

In a separate bowl, stir Flour, Baking Soda, Cinnamon, Nutmeg and Salt together. 
Gradually, add the dry ingredients to the applesauce mixture – should form a paste. 

Add the Vanilla, Walnuts, Dates, Coconut Shavings and Coconut Milk.

This batter's got the thickness...can I get a witness?

Pour batter in a greased cake pan. Mind you, this won’t rise much!

Look at that Fancy Face and those sassy eyebrows

                                 

By the way, my baking never looks pretty.  
Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes.

Eek! Isn’t this great? It’s almost as though we’re having tea together! Did you like it? I'm DYING to know! (Anxious as well) 

And now for a Fashion Tid-Bit...

OMG! Speaking of guilt-free treats, look what I got in the mail the other day.

This precious, mini cupcake-keychain! Too. Cute. 

A tiny box was sitting all alone outside of my door (Thanks to you, Mail-Man!), inside of which contained this petite treasure that caused me to squeal with glee (just how I do) and made my day so much better! (It’s the little things, right?) I just want to hold it, squeeze it and gives it kisses right on its raspberry!  Oh dear…I am slightly obsessed. 

Realizing that it was impossible to exist without the delectable gem, I quickly secured it as mine by ordering online from Shimrita’s Cupcakes – an Etsy boutique. Shimrita’s Cupcakes shop is a cute décor lover’s dream: hand-made cupcake ornaments that can be pretty much anything you would like a cupcake to be -- from table top decor, photo shoot props, key chains, charms Christmas tree deckles to doorknobs!  Bonus, they're custom made to every order (Couture Cupcakes? EEEK!)

I will certainly be ordering more in the future! The Bunny Hole (my home, by the by) could use a little more cupcakes – and these are ones good enough to eat!  But I don’t want to, I just want to stare at them and giggle with delight.

If it captures your fancy too, check out her boutique and see her artsy creations for with your own eyes at www.shimrita.etsy.com. (And grab some extra for me too, mmkay?)

I hope you liked the entry of the day! Fellow Torontonians, careful out there! #HurricaneSandy is not a happy one!

Plenty of kisses,

Mary

You've got the Puffy Eyes of a Stranger

This morning came to me, as it always does, in the shape of a rotund, furry beast yowling in my ear: “It’s 7:00 in the morning, Madame, where is my din?”

Don’t be fooled; Monty can appear a charming and plump darling, but it’s only a ruse. He’s at his brattiest and most cunning when he desires his breakfast and has perfected his approach to receiving it: provoking my fury until I concede to his demands. This consists chirping, squawking, standing on my pillow, nibbling on my shoulder, sitting at my vanity and flicking off every object on its surface to the floor (this is the worst), glancing over to see if I’ve noticed and continuing until it is hopeless to resist. It makes my blood boil, but I’ve got to hand it to him, Monty has made a great point of getting his way.  I might take cue from him the next time I want something: I’ll just start pushing inanimate objects off of tables until my opponent finally yields.  

So now that my fluffy alarm clock has won this battle of wits and quietly gorges in his dinner bowl, I’m left with the aftermath of war: exhausted, grumbling and squinting through pink, puffy eyelids.  Ew, we all hate that – looking like a playful boxing match gone sour or as though you've been sleepless for a year will never be considered a trendy look.  Don't even try. 

Swollen eyes are caused by many factors, but major issues can be dehydration and lack of sleep (Glad you got my back, Monty!) The skin around the eye area is also extremely thin and sensitive, packed with tiny vessels that can react in unfavorable ways due to your dancing the night away or having an abusive cat-mate.

I can’t justify going into the world looking this way, so I reach my weapon of choice: Tea.  That is, the Tea Bag, in fact.

Using a tea bag as a hot or cold compress for the eyes is a sensational way for treating unsightly baggies, puffiness and dark circles.  These healthy (tea) bags of fun can even heal soreness, discomfort and release really awful looking and quite painful stys.

Green & Black tea leaves are also packed with anti-oxidants – preventing and protecting damage and stimulating cell reproduction, YA YA YA!!! 

Warm or cold, black or green, it’s all good -- paving the way to a perfectly bright-eyed day.

Me -- I like to use them all because I really like to look wide-awake and not appear sleepy or inferior to my peers.  

Also, I just love tea!  Tea is so nutritious (et delicieux) topically and ingested -- chock-full of benefits a healthy body just can’t help but love.

Here’s what I do:

1) Boil that water. You got that? Great! No judgment if you’re stuck so far.  Get two mugs, one for GREEN and the other for BLACK tea.  Today instead of Black, I’m actually using Rooibos (also high in anti-oxidants AND vanilla flavored in case anyone wants to gets that close to my eyelids.)

2) Steep the teas.  I like mine strong, baby.  Take the Green tea bag out and leave it in the freezer, say about 15 minutes.  Take the Black tea bag out of its mug and leave it to cool on a plate until lukewarm temperature.  At this point, I would start sipping at the Rooibos…mmm…Vanilla. 

 

Tasty

3)  Once lukewarm, place that Black Tea on the eyelid and let it rest for ten minutes; once finished, flip it over onto the other eye for the same amount of time.  Relaxing! 

4) By now, the Green Tea bag should be out of the freezer and have been sitting about five minutes.  Repeat the same action as you did with the Black Tea bag.  Refreshing, Si? 

So sleepy...

5) And then BAM, you have happy, restful looking eyes and have helped to reduce puffiness, dark circles and that look of tiresome rage. 

6) Drink your Green Tea! (I personally like mine a little cool, but you can drink them in whatever order you like, I won’t discriminate)

From here, you can add a little of your favorite eye cream because it’s crucial to keep the eye area moisturized.  Then go forward and seize the day.

You can use do the Tea Bag treatment every day to once a week or whatever tickles you pink. 

The more frequently you do it, the bigger the difference you’ll see.  Also, it’s a relaxing, spa at home treatment: inexpensive and perfect for that “just for me” time that’s so needed when dealing with stress. Right? 

Let's talk fashion... 

I didn't wear anything particularly interesting today so instead I’ll tell you what I love and I’ll try to make this quick: Riding Boots.  I love them best with a heel, but flat ones are great too -- they are sleek, refined and a great finishing touch to nearly outfit!

They are also a constant reminder, for me, of Pride and Prejudice’s Mr. Darcy (as well as the costume of that period) so my heart can’t help but flutter a bit. 

That Mr. Darcy look, oh so proper, charming and handsome: A long, black coat, white button down shirt, fitted riding pants & paired with big, black, riding boots.  If a man dressed that way just happened to stroll by and ask for my hand in marriage, I'd be inclined to say yes. However confusing that may very well be...accepting the proposal of a strange man from an entirely different century...

My boots (my Darcys) are my boot-crush (another new term, I guess?) 

Walked on through great cities like Paris, Florence, Munich and...Toronto, they are no longer well, are worn to the nub, and areexposing the wood on the heel (I did so notice one day when I didn't feel quite so tall.) I’m not ashamed to say I will continue wear them, bad heel or not, but I promise to have them fixed...eventually.

My Darcys were bought 3 years ago at Sterling Shoes: were originally $199.99 and sold to me for $25.  It’s the truth. Albeit, I had to restore the zippers on each shoe, costing me an extra $80 (Oh, price karma.)  

And now my beloved Darcys need a shoe doctor again!

I wonder if I can just fix it myself – take a cork to the heel and nail it?  Maybe not?  I’ll research some DIY Cobbling and see how that goes.

It's been such a pleasure! Thanks for listening!

Hope y'all will have a safe and Happy Halloween!  

Plenty of Kisses,

Mary

PS. I’m thinking of blogging Tuesdays & Thursdays and some Sundays (which are my fav!)  

I’m sure my legions of fans from across the globe will demand more but for now this will have to do.